I have to admit that I am experiencing some anxiety about starting chemo. I know it is a necessary evil but it makes me nervous none the less. The surgery was easy. I knew I would be asleep during the messy part. Chemo is different. I am going to be wide awake while they pump a toxic cocktail in my body. I am sure once it starts I will get in to the right frame of mind, put on my big girl panties and just deal with it. Until then, I will freak out a little.
Tomorrow I meet with the oncologist. I have heard that he is one of the best but not to expect him to hold my hand. I am ok with that. If I want warm and fuzzy I will wear slippers. Hopefully by this time tomorrow I will have survived my first chemo treatment and will be sharing with you all that it was no big deal. Cake.
learntolikepink 
Well shoot Genevieve, I’m so sorry honey. Kaiser puts chemo patients through classes to prepare them and let them know everything to expect. Apparently it really helps calm these nerves you’re experiencing. My friend Sam went through 9 months of chemo and said it really wasn’t bad at all. The surgery is by far the worst part and you sailed through that. You are so strong, this will be a cake-walk for you Sista!
Love,
Kathlene
Gen, I have known some people who have gone through this. Most have experiences that were ok. the few that didn’t, well, lets say they went into it defeated and kicking anyway. Your positive outlook is going to help you tremendously. If you were not a bit worried then THAT would be abnormal. Your going to do fine i’m sure. I’ll be praying for you too. Don’t think of it as them just putting that toxic stuff into you, imagine the chemo as little bug killers going after ever little cancer cell bug that might be there and nuking it into oblivion. A year from now, when your through this and declared cancer free you will be able to take a deep breath and just go forward with the same gusto you use to take on anything that comes at you. Your a strong woman and I have no doubt you will get through this just fine. 🙂
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Good luck sister! You will overcome the chemo chapter with flying colors too. We are all here for you. Big hugs and lots of love from Florida. I’m sending my love and prayers for no pain, only gain. Suzanne
I haven’t been through chemo except as a caregiver to my dog. We have been through many agents that are also used for breast cancer including carboplatin, adriamycin, doxil, 5FU, gemcitabine, cytoxan, paclitaxel, and lomustine. Did you know that some of them are just really intense antibiotics? If there’s any advice I can give from my limited experience, it’s to pre-treat for side effects, and remember, whatever the chemo does to you, it’s also doing to any stray cancer cells. I can only imagine how anxious you must feel, but I KNOW you will come through with flying colors. Big hugs are coming your way.
Gen, what helped me was to visualize all these drops of chemicals attacking the bad cells and destroying them. Don’t get distraught if some people look very sick… they probably are more ill than you. I never felt anything while the drugs were going in. Make sure you have Zofran or another anti nausea drug on board though… I was never sick at all… but everyone reacts differently. You will be fine!! I remember going home and waiting for the “hit”.. It did not come!!
CAKE!!
You will be okay! Imagine how many people want to hold your hand–kinda creepy–pretty woderful!
You, afraid of cocktails? Never. I know, this is SO different. You are allowed to be fearful. But you can make your mind name the stuff in the bag anything you want! It might be awful and toxic but SO necessary. You go girl. Get those big girl panties ready to wear! Sending lots of Canadian LOVE your way 🙂
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So many of us are with you!
Personally have admired the awesome and wonderful way you take such good care of your horses and pups on MareStare for many yrs. Admire now your determination and kick the big C’s arse positive attitude, sending lots of good energies your way!!
Love the slipper warm fuzzies 🙂
We’re all here Gen so go ahead and release any and all of that anxiety on us. Cake is the operative word. Just picture all your favorites and let that cocktail do it’s thing to make cancer sorry it ever even approached you. We found out that Dr. Mounds ended up on your good side and the oncologist may not hold your hand but it doesn’t matter as long as he’s as good at what he does as Dr Mounds was. Slippers are good. Slippers are warm and fuzzy. Cake rocks!
Love ‘n hugs!!!
What Anne said.. “visualize all these drops of chemicals attacking the bad cells and destroying them” that is basically what I did too… when it starts to flow you will taste, smell it, it’s not bad you just know it’s there and I swear at times felt like my eyes where floating in it (tho that might have been all the benedryl they pumped me up with) … just breath.. breath.. BREATH!!! ..take your pills.. Bring treats and drinks.. if you need and extra hand to hold just let me know ..
I’ll be sending lots of bad cell ass kicking vibes to you tomorrow. And warm fuzzy ones too to comfort the nerves. You’re going to get through this next phase wonderfully, as you do everything. Cake and slippers will get you through!
Good luck Gen…I know you will do fine. They will bring you a warm blanket and you can even recline so it will be a great time to take a nap…
What a fab bunch of friends you have, Gen! I imagine everyone forming a circle around the bad cells, moving in closer, stomping, squishing and beating the shit out of them…then they are vaporized and terrified of ever returning! You’re one of the strongest women I know and those bastards will rue the day they decided to mess with you. Sending strength [like you need it, ha!]
Just popping in to wish you all the best. Yep, everyone nailed it, you will fly through all of this, that toxic meds is there to attack the C. So many fabulous friends and family have surrounded you with all the support and then some. Hang in there, we all know you will have Cake! Hugs my friend.