It appears that I am finished with my treatments! Other than taking the Tamoxifen for the next 5 years. I was not qualified for the clinical trial, so….this is it! On Monday I went to the hospital to be de-ported. It feels good to be rid of the port.
I visited Dr Mounds on Tuesday. He was not happy with the severity of my radiation burns. He was kind enough to call in a prescription for a new ointment to put on them. So much better.
It is so odd to be at this point. In my mind, I figured that at the end of this journey one of the doctors would announce “Congratulations! You are cancer free!” Not so much. Apparently I will never be considered cancer free. I am not even what they used to call remission. I am just a breast cancer patient that finished treatment. For now.
The one thing the doctors agree on is that it is not if, but when the cancer comes back. Now I am suppose to be on the alert for persistent bone pain, a cough that will not go away, fatigue. All of these are signs that the cancer might be back. Sweet. I will be 50 next month. Bone pain and fatigue are the norm for me.
I I don’t mean to sound like I am complaining. Just making an observation. After the past 8 months everything revolved around fighting cancer. I was no longer just Genevieve, I became Genevieve, the one with breast cancer.
No longer a patient. I have been kicked to the curb and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. No ticker tape parade, no high fives with the specialists.
Time to get back to being just Genevieve.
Thank you all for joining me on this journey. It has been a helluva ride.
Cheers!
learntolikepink 
Great! Now you’re just like the rest of us because we are all sitting ducks for cancer! I’m 63 with persistent sore muscles, the cough, fatigue in spades, but no joint pain or bone pain (unless I don’t recognize what bone pain feels like) and this is what happens when we don’t die young from all the diseases now mostly under control by vaccines and antibiotics! We get older and learn that there’s a price to pay for just getting older!!!! All we can do is go on and try to enjoy life and our precious friends and animal friends and family! You absolutely faced this the best possible way and hopefully it won’t come back! My mom and grandmother both had cancer but lived through the treatments to pass away from stroke (mom) and heart failure (my grandmom) at very good old age. Damn! We just don’t know how to get younger!!!
Welcome back Genevieve! “Just” Genevieve is the person we cheered on for this journey and the ticker tape parade is right here with all of your friends and family. Cheers to the new ointment to heal the burns, cheers to all that’s been accomplished and cheers to who you are and will continue to be.
Love ‘n hugs!
Pam
Well said Pam! Welcome back “Just” Genevieve!!! Yes the parade and High Fives are right here with all of us who really where here all along with you on this journey. Family and friends just cant be replaced with Dr and the medical staff. They have their place and we appreciate that they were there for all the treatments, but the real cheering squad was always here!
Congrats!
Love ya girl! Just keep being the Strong Brave and fighter, the one we all have looked up too!
Kris
Let me then give you that high five for all that you have been through and came out the other end. To me you have been the Genevieve who never let it define you. No matter what happens or when you have been an inspiration to us all. Carry on girl! Live it up. Susan
Hugs! You’ve gone the distance with strength and grace, now get on with life with your wonderful family and friends. More hugs!
Congratulations! You rock Genevieve and while it’s not the end you had in mind, you have had and continue to have the best possible attitude. You are incredibly inspiring sista! Love you so much and can’t wait to see you soon!!!
On one hand my brain says, phew! Let’s not continue to hurt your body with some of the cruel things you have already suffered through anymore…. But as a nurse, and someone who has always admired your true awesome-ness, as a great person and a friend I just want to yell “NoNoNoNo”! This isn’t enough!
Whatever I can ever do, just say the word… Who can say what’s around the next corner… The world is a much better place with you in it!
Hey there Genevieve! Such a journey it has been. Thanks so much for bringing us along. Your celebrations have sure been fun. Maybe we need to show those specialists how to party eh! I wish you well on whatever is to follow.
Much love and gentle hugs….The Crazy Canadian
Congratulations on being de-ported! You happen to be a person living with breast cancer — key word being living. Thank you for sharing your insights, your battle and most of all your sense of humor through all of this. You may have moments where you think you are not strong, but there are those of us who either only know you a little bit or are very close to you who feel you are one of the strongest people they know. 🙂
Yeahhh… no more port. That is wonderful news. As for you now being “Just Genevieve” well, you have always been that, to me and i’m sure to everyone else. Cancer never was who you are/were. You are Gen who just happened to have had cancer. Your doctors might not want to say you will be cancer free, but I am praying you will ALWAYS be cancer free. That this is all now behind you and you will be able to get back to living and doing what you want to do and love to do. You have gone through this battle with strength and courage and I can’t tell you how much I admire that. So many people whine and complain about minor things in life and you took this on like a Champ. AND WON. It’s Friday.. go get the bar keys and party on! LOL
It is strange to have all these doctors and nurses fighting for you , then BAM!, they show you the door…it’s like you have been walking a tightrope with a safety net then all of a sudden someone has removed the net.. but if you look around ^^^ you still have that net.. you have all thee people and more, there for you..
Congrats for making through that hell and still coming out smiling.. ❤
I know what you mean. I had surgery/lumpectomy and radiation/breast cancer in 2008.
Now I have no suspicious cells/cancer. However, that was it. Ok, now it has been
5 years, so you will come back each year now, instead of every six months ! Bye.
Yep Oh my and the other diagnosis I have is neuro-endocrine carcinoid tumors/lungs no cure
and no treatment. So I feel as though I am ignored. Well, we will do a lung scan each year.
And come back each year….. ?? So it is so frustrating. I am with you. And praying and believing, our
cancer days are over, and no complications, no coming back. We are sticking with that, and praying for a cure
for all cancers for sure. ((soft hugs)))… thanks for sharing. You did great ! and it is not easy. You know sometimes I feel like absolutely “don’t know how we do it” but then I think, the strength, stamina, and everything is from people who love us, pray and a God who is on our side… even though we get down. I have good days, not so good days, days where I am just mad, frustrated, then gentle days, kind days… but all in all I remember. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him..love ya. I am cheering you on, friend. martha
Congrats to you!
Gen, I wish you all the best. You have been such a trooper during this battle, always carrying on your duties to your mares and foals, always putting them first. Now it’s your turn. You fought so hard, it’s time to relax and look forward to no doctor appointments, no needles, no radiation.
And I totally agree with Angie… when the treatment is done… and you get “we’ll see you in x months.. just go and live!” we feel kind of lost… we have gone from one appt to another, one treatment, one test to another… and … nothing… I admit I had a hard time adjusting to that… I felt I was waiting for the other shoe to drop… I hope with your strength and sense of humour.. you can overcome that and just enjoy your freedom from the medical world.
Cheers!
That Sucks!!!! Can not imagine your disappointment or frustration!!
Take time now to heal and regain strength physically, emotionally and spiritually… What ever labels you attach to yourself above all else hold tight to the wonderful things shared about you by those who know and care about you and your well being as what is the true reflection of you!
You are one to be admired Gen and that has never changed, before your diagnosis of cancer or now after all the struggles you have gone thru to get rid of it and move on, bravely sharing it with us, thank you for that!!
Doors close and others open for reasons we cannot know, look forward to hearing about what new doors open for you!!
I feel the same way. Getting down to the end of my treatments. Only 26 more radiation treatments to go. It is a feeling of being sent adrift in the ocean once you are close to the end of your treatment program. Being left to depend on yourself to be very in tune to how you feel and what your body is doing. I highly recommend joining a cancer support group. I have been involved with one since 2010 when my husband had both brain and kidney cancer, joining at that time because I was an overburdened and freaked out caretaker for my husband and now back to the same group as a cancer patient. Don’t think I will ever stop going. The facilitator is an oncology nurse so the group makes a good sounding board for any symptoms you may be unsure about. Being a part of that group helps to do away with that ‘adrift in the ocean’ feeling. Hugs to you Gen. Get out there and enjoy your horses to the max!