Thinking happy thoughts. Really.

The past 10 days have been difficult.  I began having weirdo chest pain, shortness of breath and exhaustion.  I started collapsing.

Took a few days until I decided that maybe I should go to the doctor to make sure I was not having a reaction to the Tamoxifen.  

I met with the RN first.  She suggested stop taking the Tamoxifen.  Then I went to see the radiation oncologist since my Frankenboob is still so burned, blistered and swollen.  He orders blood work, a CT scan with an angiogram.  Trying to rule out a blood clot.  Good news, no clot.  Bad news, still no answer to why I am having such a tough time.

Both of them think it is just because my poor old body has been through so much these past 8 months that I just need time to recuperate.  Gave me some nice drugs for the pain.  I slept for a couple days.  Seriously!  Guess I really was tired.

Monday afternoon I get a call from the oncology nurse.  I am suppose to go to the ER for an EKG.  Fabulous.  The ER is always such a quick visit.  Not so much.

I get in there, they start putting those stickies all over my body and get me wired.   After a little while they came and took my wires off.  Yippee, I thought, I get to go meet my family for dinner.  Not so fast.  Apparently you can’t just go to the ER for one simple test.  Before I could bust out they had started an IV and ordered more tests.  My blood work showed my liver function values were high.  Now I get to wait for an ultrasound.  1 1/2 hours later the ultrasound tech shows up.  She does not say much, just does her thing and says she will pass the info on to the doctor.

Found out I have gall stones.  OK.  They certainly don’t bother me so lets get on with diagnosing the chest pain.  I want to scream ‘focus, people!’

Finally I decided that I had had enough of the ER and went home.

Had another doctor appointment yesterday.  Now they want to do a PET scan and an MRI of my brain.  My symptoms might indicate that my cancer has spread.  Tomorrow I will be scanned from head to toe looking for hot spots.  

I am sticking with the theory that my body is just tired and needs a month or two to regroup.   No way that this stupid cancer has set up housekeeping in another part of my body.  I am running out of non essential body parts to chop off.

I will post an update when I have more news.  


  1. Mom, your my hero and I look up to you more and more everyday. Thank you for being strong enough for the all of us. I love you so much. Positive thoughts always.

  2. Sending all the positive vibes I can muster from Canada. I know you must be tired of people telling you that you are strong and to be strong. Sometimes, it’s ok and needed to just scream and let it all out… I do believe your body is just so tired and needs time. Always in my thoughts Gen!

  3. Sista, dang right it’s your body and soul needing a well deserved rest from the medical chaos! You know your body better than anyone. Take the well deserved time to rest and heal. There is no doubt in my mind fueling your spirit with rest and love from family and friends will shed an entirely new, positive light on the circumstance. You will win this exhausting battle. I love you so much and am here for you, always.


  4. Thinking of you Gen as always. Remembering the good times. Healing thoughts going your way.
    Love and hugs………Judy

  5. You are strong but I think I know a little about you and your being brave for everyone else so now forget us and just relax the best way possible. This is easy for me to say, but we are always there for you Genevieve, but you will be ok and it does take a toll on your body and months to recuperate after all the Radiation and Chemo. I know this from what Mike went through.
    I love you and know you will gain all your strength back and thank God for your wonderful personality that keeps you so strong.

  6. Gen, I know you know your body better than anyone does, doctors included. I believe it’s screaming for some rest so it can self-restore and move forward. I’m here with everyone to wish you well for today.
    Love ‘n hugs,

  7. Gen, I too am in your corner, keeping you in my prayers always. May today prove to all that you know your body and it does just need that rest. Hugs to you. Special Hugs for your family too, I know they are right by your side every step of the way, that’s what family does.

  8. How incredibly frustrating, annoying, and scary. I’m sorry you are going through this and I’m praying every day you will have good news coming around the bend. BIG HUGS and POSITIVE THOUGHTS!

  9. Gen, I would say that the treatments and surgeries weakened your body and you’re tired because your body is working to try and get back to where it was. Rest is so important as well as eating right and trying to stay as healthy as possible, Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Gentle hugs!
    We all love you!!!

  10. Gen..I don’t post often but have checked in everyday since Suarte…I feel as if I am part of a wonderful family via marestare..just wanted you to know that I am saying prayers each night for you and have been in awe of how very strong a woman you are. Stay strong and know that this big “family” is behind you all the way!

  11. Love and big prayers for you. Could be exhaustion and reaction to the tamaxafin. Sending resting and heeling to you. I am picturing you in a bid puppy heap have sweet healing dreams.

  12. Gen, I was checking a few of your posts and had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance -emilywalsh688 (at) Thanks : )


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