The Making Strides Walk for Breast Cancer was wonderful. Team Learn to Like Pink was very well represented and stylishly dressed.
Thank you to all that made generous donations to the American Cancer Society.

Pride is over rated. In fact it is one of the first things to go when diagnosed with breast cancer. Obviously it is not the first thing to go… the breasts are the first to go. Pride left shortly after.
Here is a lovely photo that was taken about 4 days post surgery. My poor belly was still pretty swollen, there are spiffy drain tubes poking out in several places. You also get to see a glimpse of Muffy in her penthouse. I have an adorable new belly button and below that an impressive line of sutures that goes from hip to hip.
I am healing well. A couple hiccups in the recovery, but other than that I am doing good. Still incredibly sore and have very little energy. The whole ‘no lifting more than 5 lb’ rule is just plain silly. Everything weighs more than 5 lbs!
All of the drains have been pulled, special tape added to my sutures for reinforcing.
There have been so many doctor appointments since the surgery. On one of my recent visits I was informed that I get to have a colonoscopy. Ick. Double ick. The idea of what happens during that procedure is creeping me out. They want to put that thing where? Shudder. Apparently the prep is suppose to be the worst part. Doubtful. The prep is done in my home in the privacy of my bathroom. The procedure is another story. Oh well, time to put on my big girl panties (oh wait, I think I have to take those off) and just have the darn thing done. I think I am only allowed clear fluids while prepping. Vodka is clear, right?

People are going to look at me and think my last name is Cullen. I have a very pasty complexion today. I wonder if I go out in the sunlight if I will sparkle like Edward. Hmmmm. Obviously I have been watching Twilight while on bed rest.
It has been a rough weekend. I knew all along the recovery for this surgery was not going to be rainbows and butterflies. I knew it was going to be difficult. I have to be honest, difficult hurts like heck.
After the surgery they installed a pain pump that kept my abdomen fairly numb. That pain pump ran dry last night. I had no idea what a good friend that little bugger was. That old saying ” you don’t miss it till it’s gone” comes to mind.
The Oxycodone has been a solid friend, but is the kind of wild friend that you can’t spend too much time with or someone will end up in cuffs. I think last night I might have double dosed, it is all a blur. I went on a crazy trip where my house was flooding, water pouring from the ceiling, I was running around like a mad woman screaming for help but I could no longer speak. Yep, I did all that without ever leaving my chair or waking up the dogs. Note to self…have Tina or Jennilee regulate the drugs.
Another issue has appeared. I have numbness in my right leg from the knee down. I can’t feel my foot. It is like the whole foot has been shot up with Novocaine. People that know me are probably shocked that I just used the ‘f’ word twice (I hate feet. Foot & feet are definitely 4 letter words). Poor Tina actually had to touch mine. I know she was nervous and wary when she started massaging my foot knowing full well that normally I would have launched her across the room for even coming near that appendage. The massage helped and feeling began to return. It remains at the ‘asleep’ stage now. I guess this is due to a pinched nerve or something and will resolve when I can eventually stand and sit up straight.. For now Mounds wants me walking stooped over like a little old lady.
Poor Tina had to do a bandage change today. Luckily for her she had Jennilee here to assist. Now my daughters got to meet Muffy up close and personal. My poor daughters will be scarred for life. I am lucky to have them.
Back to The Walking Dead marathon. I wonder what would happen is I double dosed and watched that. Probably best I don’t find out.

Home again, home again. Home is so much better than the hospital. The nurses were all so nice and I know they were just doing their job, but it sure is tough to get any sleep when you are being checked on all throughout the night.
I am tired, sore and cranky. The oxycodone will help with the pain, the dogs will help with the tired and cranky. I am pretty sure Mounds has a direct line to Lilly, my doxie x beagle. She planted her self on my lap the minute I sat down and will not budge. Good little bed rest buddy.
I have a lot of cool incisions and suture lines. The front part of my body looks a lot like a road map of Los Angeles. There are nifty ‘roads’ all over the place. It is so nice to look down and see good skin, not that burned radiated patch I used to have. Kind of weird knowing that used to be Muffy. Trust me, Muffy looks much better up top than she did as my muffin top. I wonder if under all of these bandages I have 6 pack abs? I should warn everyone now that if that is the case I will be walking around naked from now on! Heck yeah, 50 yrs old with upgraded boobs and a flat tummy. Sweet.

Last week I went in for the surgery that was the prep for the big one in two weeks.
All went well, got to go home the same day as the surgery. I was a little surprised at just how big the incision is though. I was expecting a little two inch cut on my abdomen. Nope. The incision is basically from hip to hip just under my belly. You skinny ladies will not know how uncomfortable this is. I have a belly. I call her Muffy, short for Muffin Top. We are old friends, I have known Muffy most of my adult life. The suture line is in that crease underneath Muffy.
Mounds also gave Righty an upgrade. He took out the tissue expander and replaced it with a boob much nicer than the original. Score! I am half stacked now. I have one tit and one pit.
The big surgery is scheduled for early Feb. This one will relocate Muffy north to my pit. It involves tunneling and removing rib sections. How gross is that? Glad I will be asleep.
I had an appointment with Mounds this morning to check the incisions and pull a few stitches. He also marveled at his handy work with Righty. He commented on what a beautiful breast is was and then took a photo. I wonder if Mounds has children or if he just carries around a wallet full of breast photos? He acted like a proud papa. Whatever, the man is a genius.
I have been ordered to take it easy for the next two weeks so I will be ready for surgery. No more horseback riding, no swimspa, no lifting more than 5lbs, no stairs. That should be easy…….

Enjoying every minute of the days before I start back up with the cancer battle. Sunday was a gorgeous day, both my daughters joined me on a wonderful ride on the beach. I am really enjoying riding horses again and am so fortunate to live in such a lovely county where there are so many beautiful trails and beaches.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with Mounds to iron out all of the details regarding the procedures and surgeries. I am certain I will regret all of the over indulging during the holidays when Mounds examines me and wants to start coloring on my abdomen. Cringe.

My granddaughter Gwen was one of the highlights of 2013.
For the most part I am thrilled to have 2013 in the rear view mirror. On to bigger and better things in 2014. When this crazy cancer ride started I told the doctors that they had total control of my body for one year. They could put me through whatever treatments, procedures and surgeries they felt necessary to battle the C beast. Clearly, they plan on using every minute of that time plus a bonus month or two. I am feeling generous, I will give them that.
2013 was filled with challenges and pain, but also plenty of great moments with friends and family. I have learned so much about myself and just how important a positive outlook is even when things seem overwhelming. I want to thank everyone for their support. I could not have done it without you.
Happy New Year!

It has been nice having a month off from treatments & surgeries. I have been enjoying my family, friends and my animals. I recently began riding again. A silver lining of the chemo was that it reduced the mass I have on my brain. That mass, an acoustic neuroma, was causing severe vertigo so I had to give up riding years ago. After chemo I realized that the vertigo episodes were rare. A friend, Carla, thought I needed to try riding again. We went on a very nice trail ride and I was hooked. My wonderful husband bought me a couple amazing trail horses, a new fancy truck to pull the trailer! Life is good. Riding is super therapy for my soul.
I am looking forward to a relaxing Christmas with family. Going to try to enjoy every minute I have with them before I get ready for the next wave of surgeries & treatments. The first surgery is scheduled for Jan 16. The second one, the big doozy, will be a couple weeks after. The second one requires a 5 day hospital stay and a very long, difficult recovery. Not going to think about that right now. I will likely have a pity party a few days before.
I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas. Thank you all for the continuing love and support. It has been a helluva year and I could not have done it without all of you!

After 11 days of snagging the tube on door handles, dog paws and occasionally Montel’s mouth, I am drainless and my drain is in the trash where it belongs. As much as I hated the drains I was dreading the removal. If you remember, I was quite the baby when I had drains pulled last time. My memory is a little foggy but I think I threw a punch at the doctor. This time around it was not so bad. Mounds took a more gentle approach, pulling slowly rather than the yank with all your might technique the doctor used last time.
I also had some of the sutures removed. All in all it was a good morning.
I am still getting used to the idea of looking down and seeing a dent where boobzilla once lived. This is the first time since this whole adventure began that I have not had some sort of expander or implant in there. Now it is just a ditch. Kind of weird.
I still have a couple more surgeries to look forward to. Going to give my body a break for a little while though. I think I start the Tamoxifen again in a week or two.
Now I am just trying very hard to get my mind cleared and my memory back. People warned me about chemo brain. They were right. It is frustrating not remembering simple things that should not even require a second thought. My long term memory is even worse but that is ok. There is a lot of stuff in my past that I would like to forget any way!
I have been using the site luminosity.com. Lots of entertaining brain games.
Have a wonderful day everyone! Big week for me. I turn 50 on Thursday! 50!! Ouch. Maybe that has something to do with the memory issues.

Mounds to the rescue. I had an appointment with Mounds on Tuesday. As expected, he was not pleased with Lefty’s appearance. He hoped that skin grafts would be able to salvage my poor abused boob. He applied a wound dressing to it, started me on antibiotics and set up an appointment for the skin grafts on Thursday.
It felt so good to finally have someone take Boobzilla seriously.
I told Mounds that I was scheduled for a brain MRI the next day. He looked a little confused, asked if it was definitely an MRI not a CT scan. Definitely an MRI. He told me to cancel that since I have a tissue expander in my right breast that has metal in it. That might be a problem with an MRI. Good to know!
After 24 hrs on the antibiotics I already started feeling better. The pressure & chest pain started to subside. After 36 hours I could take a deep breath again. I was no longer clammy all the time. Unbelievable, after weeks of multiple doctor appointments, so many test and procedures, being told that the pain and discomfort I was feeling was due to a blood clot or my cancer spreading, I was improving just by popping a few pills. Thank God for Dr Mounds.
Thursday I went in for my skin grafts. I knew there was a chance that it would turn in to a bigger surgery if the skin & tissue was too damaged and necrotic to salvage with skin grafts. I woke up with a flat chest and drain tubes. Safe to assume that my procedure was not the easy peasy one we were hoping for.
Mounds ended up removing the implant that had been placed in the surgery before radiation started. The tissue was damaged all the way to the implant.
I am feeling so much better now. Some normal discomfort from the post surgery stuff and the pesky drain issues. Other than that, it is so nice to be back on the road to recovery, relatively pain free. Life is good!